Monday, April 6, 2009

A Change Of Heart

   I'm gonna be real with ya... it's been a rough day. 
We found out this morning that Jake's heart has gotten worse. For those of you that don't know Jake's aortic valve is narrowing.  It had been stable for over a year but changed over the last two months.
 The fact is... we are one step closer to surgery. We go back in a month and if it's changed again, the surgery will be scheduled.  A top-notch surgeon in Ann Arbor, Michigan has agreed to perform the operation. When the time comes we are looking at being in Ann Arbor for at least three weeks.
 But here's the rest of the story. Dave and I are at peace with everything. We have put our trust in Him who is the ultimate healer. Jehovah Rapha. We have said since the day of Jake's diagnosis that we have a choice to make. Will we choose to fall apart, grow angry and bitter...or choose God?  That's an easy question so I won't answer it for you.
  I'm a mother. So I'm not sitting here with a smile on my face. What is on my face is mascara..because yes there have been tears. Giving this all to God is not easy. 
You see, my heart is changing right along with Jake's. I used to pray for Jake's heart to stay the same...for surgery to never happen. But God changed my heart's prayers a few weeks ago. I have been praying for the surgeon, for strength, for my family and my husband. So I ask that you pray for the same. Lift Jacob up.  
  This is one of the verses I use almost daily.
 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present you requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
     Phillippian 4:6-7

I can't thank you all enough for loving us, praying for us and helping us get through.
When I finally get to see the result of God's plan.. after all of this.... it's gonna be so good.
 

9 comments:

Sonja said...

That is one of my all time favorite verses as well. Always calms the anxious soul! You bet I'll be praying for that baby's heart!!(and yours as well :) )

Anonymous said...

Please know that we'll be praying for you, Dave, and cute little Jake.

Ashley L.

Anonymous said...

Hello Jen, I have read your Jacob blog for many months and appreciate how well you keep us all up to date on his progress. I have noticed how strong you have become in caring for him and I marvel at the way you are now prepared to deal with whatever plan God has for your darling little boy.

Your post today broke my heart to read that Jake's heart has changed and may need surgery to correct his problem. However, you again are showing your strength as you brief us on what the next few months will bring. You are to be commended and although we have not met yet, I will say that I am proud of you, honey.........cry when you feel like crying. God knows why you cry and he is at your side to comfort you. HE has his arms around all of you.

All of us Johnsons are here praying for all of you, especially the cutest little boy in this whole big world. God bless and love him.

If we can help in any way, please do not hesitate to call. Margie has all the addresses and phone numbers.

Hugs and kisses and lots of love

Cousin Susan in Ohio

KellyRose said...

Oh Jenny! I was praying for your family this morning and anxious to hear an update. Your post brought me to tears. Your strength and trust in God amazes me. I know it is hard, but God will carry you through. We are praying!

Pamela Johnson said...

Definitely praying for you Jenny, for David, and especially Jake. for the doctors, staff, etc. What a great verse to claim!!

Anonymous said...

Jen,
While this was not the news I wanted to hear, it is what it is. God has a plan, and you know it. You claimed one of the best scriptures, hang onto that, and He will be glorified. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. If there is anything I can do (I'm still unemployed, and available for babysitting), please let me know. Jake is going to be fine, especially once the doctors fix his heart. This too shall pass...
Love to all,
Aunt Mary

Lincoln said...

Hello Whites! Brian gave me your blog info...I had no idea Jake had aortic stenosis. Which cardiologist do you see? I am very excited to hear you will be using Ann Arbor. It is a wonderful facility! If you ever have any questions about the in's and out's of cardiac surgery, please let me know. I have been recovering cardiac cases for years, so I know first hand what you will see. We have all of you in our thoughts. Let us know if there is anything you need...walk the dog, take in the paper, etc! Love,
Trish, Brian, Linc and Miller Campbell

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you, David and Jake have to go through this. I know you hear it all the time, but you are all so strong and God knew that when he presented you with such challenges. I love Jake so much and I know God is going to get him through this and you and David will be even stronger. My heart breaks for you and I know your are scared. If you ever need to talk about it or just vent, you know you can call me anytime. I'm so blessed to have a friend like you.
Amanda C.

Jen said...

You are right We don't ask God "why". We ask Him to give us courage and strength. He will provide.